Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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