Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
