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• (916): View more from California

  My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend

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• (310): View more from California

  first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  ...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??

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• (206): View more from Washington

  That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.

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