I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
