Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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