I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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