My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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