Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
