i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He shit in the fireplace
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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