there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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