You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
