just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
