best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
