she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
