her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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