dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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