we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize