Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
