Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We have started to decorate penises.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
