I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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