Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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