I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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