we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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