me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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