I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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