batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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