I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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