Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
