on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
