look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
