I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
