Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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