Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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