my mouth tastes like poor choices
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
