Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
