hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We're too hungover to prance.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
