5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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