Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
