nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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