It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
