very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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