I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
