Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
