There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
