i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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