i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
