College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
