My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
