I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
false alarm, still single
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