Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
