I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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