i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
