we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
