How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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