he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
