Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
