Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
