So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
