did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
