You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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