and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
