that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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